So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
