He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
