you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
