talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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