What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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