lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
