SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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