we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm getting married
To pizza
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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