I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
