she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
