How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ketchup is God's man juice
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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