who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
