Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
