Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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