it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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