so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
