Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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