Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
