just come out here and I will go home with you...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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