As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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