Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
