Sacagawea was the original milf.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
