yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
