note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
