Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
