i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
