So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
