I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
