You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
