Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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