I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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