you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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