Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize