so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
