never play flip cup with pint glasses
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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