i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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