loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
