Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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