Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
