my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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