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So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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