We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
