I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
