I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
