After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And then he peed in my hair
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