Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
