If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize