Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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