guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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