Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
