do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
