She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Shame - the story of my life.
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