Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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