Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
