Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
