im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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