she takes plan B like it's going out of style
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
