Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
