there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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