i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Life is so much better after having sex.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
