dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
