It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
