It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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