He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
