I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
