just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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