Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize