He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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