yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
