I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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