Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
