Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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