Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize