I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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