I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I've blown a few things in my day
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
