I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
