I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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