The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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