One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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