that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
