ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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